Asthma

I have dealt with this horrible terrible thing for eighteen years. I have never had asthma, only very bad allergies, but I have watched my family suffer with it for far too long and I hate it!!

My first experience with asthma was with my husband before we were even married. I remember clearly him not being able to breath and sitting with him at the hospital while we waited for them to give him a treatment that seemingly cured it. Luckily I only had a couple of these experiences with him but I remember how clearly watching the person I loved at 15/16 suffer so badly scared me to death.

Then only a few years later, I got my first terrifying experience with asthma. Howie, now 12, was seemingly born suffering from it. For months they wouldn't diagnose him with it and I had to fight them on that, but he had it all along. By the time he was six months old I had spent several hours holding him in an ER waiting room waiting to get a treatment for my little baby who was gasping for air. He would turn blue at his daycare and I would rush to get him and bring him to the hospital. Finally at six months they decided he had asthma and sent us home with a nebulizer, I have never been so happy for a little machine. My poor baby went through these spells for the first two years of his life quite often, and then it seems to have just left him. He has horrible allergies, but the asthma appears to be, at least for now gone.

And for a few years our house was fairly asthma free. Then Reagan came along. Reagan wasn't born with asthma and has always been a big baby/toddler, now preschooler. He doesn't look like anything could bring him to his knees, you would think he would knock down anything in his way. But that is just not the case, this horrible disease, can completely devastate my poor four year old and leave him almost lifeless on the floor within an hour left untreated. He knows what a treatment is now and knows to ask for it and knows that it helps him, but it breaks my heart to see him suffer so with just taking a breath.

And then my final, or at least I am hoping it's my last, experience with asthma. Heaven, my 15 year old daughter, always very healthy, very athletic, was diagnosed with it last year. She suddenly couldn't run to second base without being bent over out of breath. She is now on an inhaler, which she forgets to have with her continually, and desperately needs it for almost any exertion. Which is heartbreaking for me to deal with as she lives for her sports and yet when she is out there doing them I have to fear for her life. What if she doesn't remember her inhaler and pushes herself too hard? What if she doesn't want to ask her coach to get the inhaler and runs out of breath? Terrifying thoughts for a mom who lives for her family and loves her little girl very much. I've watched as she turned white on the basketball court because she didn't want to be taken out and prayed for a timeout or halftime so that she would get some rest and catch her breath.

It is a very difficult thing, to watch the people you love struggle to take a breath. I would wish it on no one.

Sick kids

Why is it that I feel like such a bad parent whenever my kids are sick? Today Zaria and Dessi are home sick, yesterday it was Howie.

Howie didn't make me feel so bad. I felt bad for him of course, but not as a parent. I knew that he was indeed sick and should be missing school because he had thrown up multiple times the day and night before and if nothing else, that had to have worn him out.

Then we get to Dessi and Zaria, yes the whole house has some small bug. Yes, it is affecting everyone in different ways. Yes they could be sick. But are they? I have no idea!! Both would rather miss school than go and I know it, but what if they are sick?

I try every trick in the book. "Zaria, you know you can't go to the Y or outside if you are sick?" "Zaria, I won't send you to Grandma's, you have to stay home" Nothing... "Dessi, you know you can't miss a lot of days" "Dessi, you are going to be in big trouble if you keep missing" Nothing...

Maybe they are sick, in fact I'm sure they have some of whatever is going around the house. Do I think that they are sick enough to stay home? Nope. Do I think the crazy nurse at their school would send them home if I could convince them to go? Yep. Which is a whole other issue!!!

Easter

We did an outside Easter egg hunt for the first time in years this year. It was really fun, from hiding the eggs with the older kids last night to watching the litttle kids run around the yard this morning grabbing up eggs as fast as they could with huge smiles on their faces.

Then we went inside and they all got to look at their baskets, very happy kids. Zane wanted all of his candy open, but not to eat, just to look at. Which makes for a very messy house. Oh well, I did decide to have 9 kids, my house was doomed to be a mess till I'm fifty.

Then we made my special scrambled eggs. Heaven always helps, but this time Dessi helped too which made me really happy. Dessi only likes her computer and her online stuff, so I love it when she gets involved.

Right now the kids are watching Toy Story on Blu-Ray that they got for Easter, then naptime!!! After that we are going to a park and play football with the older kids while the little kids play. And then lasagna for supper. Very full happy day!

John's 17th birthday

My oldest will turn seventeen on Monday. Give me a minute to collect myself, that is sooo hard to say.

I love their birthdays, I love making them feel special and watching them enjoy their special gifts and their special days. However I do admit that it was so much easier when they were all under ten!!!

This year we asked John what he wanted. And this year we are offering for each kid to have a party if they so desire, it simply comes from the money that we normally spend on them. He wanted a radio for sure.

So weeks ago, I told him to decide if he wanted anything else or he would like a party and a radio. We were looking at higher end radio/cd players with a dock for his ipod. And last night he decided he would also like a chair for his desk.

So I said, we can get a little cheaper of everything and still do all three or get nicer of two of the three things or really nice of just one. He was leaning towards all three. And so he was thinking about it and came to me and asked, "So how much would a DJ cost?" And so now we all know John's concept of money.

Yeah it was so much easier when they were all little!!!